The Nature of That Computing Mind, or, The Great Freakout

I’m feeling inspired by Liz’s Latest Post. And by a friend who just refinanced the house she just moved into because her hubbin wanted to, not because she was sold on the idea.

Just’In has been poking his head in the real estate market during this last weekend. His co-worker has grand delusions of moving into a house with her boyfriend once he suddenly proposes the moment her divorce with her ex gets finalized. She’s got the wedding and the honeymoon all planned out, and they’re not even talking about any further commitment. She also found a great deal on a house in the neighborhood; she wanted to show Just’In, so she Emailed him a link.

And he thought it was a great deal, too. His reasoning, he told me later, is that the mortgage payments would be lower than our rent payments are now, and we’d have it paid off in five years. So he delved deeper. And continued to find good deals on places in the area; he also continues to be excited.

This throws almost every fibre of me into a panic. We moved to the area because of Just’In’s cancer; the cancer institute here has given him free treatment. We’re renting an apartment because it’s just the two of us; when we eventually have kids, it’ll be awhile before they’ll need the room that a house justifies. Babies don’t take up much space, you can put a kid on a cot that folds up when they’re not using it, and kids like to be physically close to their parents anyway. All in all, I love the ideas written about at MSN Real Estate.

Plus, we’re here for short-term. We were planning for a year, maybe two. Just long enough to get the cancer treated and long enough to build job security in something outside of retail so Just’In has a better chance at a job in Oregon. A house just feels so permanent. I don’t want to be permanent in Utah; ever since we were engaged, we’ve wanted to move out of The Bubble that all the Mormons create.

Getting a house just seems like a counter-productive wall to all those goals of ours. But Liz’s article made me realize that he’s just looking for a solution to a problem: he wants to save more and pay less on bills. As much as I don’t want to move again when we’ve just settled in, I realize that he’s just exploring those options: different housing options might mean lower bills.

I just think he’s getting a little ahead of himself. Of course, I also know that is also his nature. Just’In has always tried to be aware of everything that’s available before he gets stuck. In this case, he hasn’t asked the doctors yet if they know how much longer the cancer needs to be monitored, but he wants to have all the variables in place so he can start computing all the options.

It still freaks me out. I was hoping for a place to paint, but I wasn’t hoping for such a permanent statement so quickly. It’s nice to know what his nature is and that this is just how he works or I would go crazy with such sudden anticipation.