Gravity: Once The Problem Is Realized, It Must Be Rectified

I found myself in a dilemma last week. A rather embarrassing one that could only possibly happen to me.

I wear garments and the bottoms end at mid thigh.

I also wear thigh-high socks, some of which actually do go up to my thighs.

(I Have These Socks, But They're Not In This Story)

Last week, I was wearing both of these with low-waisted capris, which are in fashion now. The rest of what I was wearing is of no consequence to this story.

Then I plunged into a normal day, which included a trip to the library. While walking up the stairs with Toby to the Children’s Area, and then while semi-frantically flipping through children’s books to figure out which ones to check out, I kept pulling up my pants and frowning.

I was frowning because I’d worn this exact outfit, sans an identical but different set of underwear, the day before. It was delightfully attractive the day before and not stinky, so I wore it again. I was frowning because my pants weren’t sagging the day before; I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my clothes.

Until I was standing in the corner of the Children’s Area with Toby, examining the puppets. I realized the difference in that day’s outfit and the outfit of the day before: I had put my socks on so they slightly overlapped my underwear. My socks were trying to succumb to gravity, and they were pulling my pants down with them via my underwear.

(I Get My Socks From Sock, Based In Portland)

So there I stood, in the middle of the library, in the practically deserted Children’s Area, in a secluded corner behind the shelves of phonetic spellers. Adjusting my socks so they no longer overlapped my underwear, and thus putting my hand and arm up the legs of my pants while I stood. Then, I pulled up my underwear, pulled my undershirt over my underwear, and repositioned pants, shirt, sweater.

Somewhere in the middle of all this frantic repositioning, I get a glance from a little girl who has rounded the corner to join Toby. She’s shocked because I’m sure it looks like I’m changing my clothes for entirely new ones. Her mom, who is my friend, is right behind her; she’s amused and pretends like everything is normal.

Everything IS normal; Kate is just readjusting and realigning, making tweaks and turns, all while shocking and amusing simultaneously. Really nothing new, although it’s never any less embarrassing.


About The Original Kate

Along with artistic tendencies, Kate enjoys unusual people and is constantly striving for some sort of nonconformity. Kate offers a perspective that is thoughtful but well-written and full of images within the words. Other tidbits that might intrigue: she has very long auburn hair, and, you guessed it, her favorite color is orange.

Posted on October 10, 2011, in From Moss-Lined Oregon and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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