A Pebble Happily Kicked Aside Again
I’ve discovered a different point of view today.
But before I did, I reached a moment of frustration. My goal today was to take a shopping trip with Toby. It doesn’t matter what I wanted to buy, but I was frustrated because it didn’t look like it was going to happen today. And I’ve been wanting to take this trip all week.
I’ve encountered all sorts of obstacles. I wanted to go yesterday, but we got back from being out and about doing church duties (something we call visiting teaching) at noon, and both of us were tuckered out. Wednesday was laundry day, and we ended up going on a large grocery trip that day, too. On Tuesday, a friend came over, my visiting teacher, and I had something else that day as well…
Anyway, today was going to be the day, and if we were going to do it, it had to be in the afternoon. It’s clearly afternoon, and I’m clearly not outdoors with Toby, walking to or from a bus stop. Instead, he’s napping, and I’m content with writing this post instead.
At my height of frustration today, I was finishing up a feeding. Toby had not only eaten an entire jar of baby pears in one sitting–which is becoming an increasingly frequent occurrence–but he ate it willingly, eagerly, without having to be coaxed. I make it a point to offer breastmilk afterward, mostly because that’s what I’m advised to do. I noticed he was getting drowsy, and it’s about the time he usually has a nap.
But I wanted to go shopping. Until this point of view slipped in and I happily set him down for his regular snooze.
Being a mom is hard. It takes a fine sense of balance and a large amount of patience. It also takes self-discipline. Being a homemaker means you have to be your own boss, but many times, it’s separate from being a parent.
Being a mom is hard; living like this, it’s also hard to see the overview, the effect of the routine and stability. The point of a nap every day at about the same time is this: Just’In and I believe that this–this lifestyle of one stay-at-home and one work– is the best way to produce stable, healthy, happy people. It is by no means the only way, but we can only do what we think is our best.
We also try to do stuff we enjoy doing. Today, I’ve invited people over for dinner. It all sounds very domestic, but that’s how I meet people and develop friendships, even before I quit my job in favor of another. Here, I’m also letting go of another thing in favor of something else. The shopping trip can wait some more, even if it bugs me that I’m procrastinating. I want to do something else, instead.
I have pulled over from my trek through the woods. I’ve caught a glimpse of this little goal among the host of other things that make up the view from the mountainside. It’s a pebble that can continue to fall down the mountain, and by itself, it won’t change what the view looks like. I’ll trudge by it eventually.