Is My Reflection Getting Harder? Am I Becoming More Worn?
What a superfluous and contradictory day. I’m so frustrated by it that I’ll give you a micro-glimpse of the life I’m leading right now.
I was stressed last night because I had a paper due in class that felt huge and I’d done very little work on it. I’d nibbled on the research required for it at work, but I was training two new girls and it’s midterms for many people. I told my bedmate to wake me at 6am when he got up; he ended up sleeping in. I had set my alarm for 7 and it woke us both up. While we showered, I fretted about work.
That night before, a co-worker who is new called in right after the boss left and told us that he had a dentist’s appointment the next morning and needed someone to cover for his shift. I’ve covered for other shifts of his, and I’ve never met the guy because we’re not scheduled to work together at all. I got playful/angry with him on the phone: “Dude, I’m totally going to beat you up if I ever see you (which is a laugh if you see me physically); you owe me big.” I was genuinely irritated, but saw no solution other than to cover for him personally.
Because I had this paper due and I also had to work, I considered calling my boss and telling her of the situation, then telling her that I’ve got a paper to write and can’t possibly come in. However, the shift was only for an hour (!) and it would most likely be relatively quiet, so I just went in.
It was so quiet that I could have called in. The other person sharing the shift is competent and responsible, and I ended up working on my paper for the whole hour anyway. I plopped down in a computer lab after that hour and told myself to skip my first class. I don’t like doing so (which is why I’m still in college) but we didn’t have any assignments due there, and nothing monumentally important was happening. The two and a half period left open was productive. I got the paper done in full, printed out some things that needed to be turned in, and edited another assignment for the same class.
I got to class feeling accomplished and confident. I enjoy this professor, and she makes it a point to use all the class time effectively. But today she handed us some guidelines to further clarify assignments, asked for that piece I had done some editing on, and dismissed class. The business took all of fifteen minutes. It left me confused; I’d missed something. This isn’t unusual, so I asked the prof what was going on.
“Oh, we decided last class that the paper isn’t due until Thursday.” [She had a slight air of, “And you didn’t catch that? Poor girl,” but it wasn’t overbearing.]
This is just one in a series of hard days. It has nothing to do with the weather because I actually looked forward to the onset of fall and have thus enjoyed the coolness, strangely enough. It probably has more to do with all the new people at work and my long-term standing there.
I wonder what happened in the class I skipped.